Sometimes my own words don't express how I am feeling. Sometimes I need the words of others. Sometimes this comes in the lyrics to a song. Most of the time this comes in the lyrics to a song.
Currently, I find myself in one of those moods where one negative thing in my life has caused me to reflect on any/every negative thing in my life. I don't like to consider myself a "Negative Nancy" or a "Debbie Downer," but sometimes, I just need to be at peace with my thoughts and my music.
Reflecting on a specific person who was once in my life and has recently reemerged, I couldn't help but wish they were here now; to tell me exactly what I want to hear to get me through the night.
I don't have these nights often; I would say they are pretty rare. People are constantly saying how upbeat and sunshiny I am all the time. And usually, I am. But sometimes, I wish I could show people my insecurities, and self-doubt because let's face it; we have all been there.
I am going to allow myself to "wallow in my pity and self-doubt"for tonight and tonight only. (quote credit: Seth Cohen on The OC) When I wake up, and the sun wakes up and a new day begins, I will go back to my bubbly, perky, genuinely happy self. But tonight, it's all about myself, my music, and my thoughts... and maybe some tears. I just need a good cry.
I know, I know; cue the violins! I acknowledge that SO many people in the world have it worse off than I do, but that doesn't mean I can't have one of those days/nights where I think I have it the worst.
Part of me is scared to post this entry because I am SO vulnerable at this moment. But part of me is saying, "This is who you are RIGHT NOW." So even though I am exposing my open wounds for you all to see, I am okay with this because this accurately represents who I am and how I feel at this moment.
Until a sunnier, happier day; goodnight to you all!
*Below is my playlist:
Yellow- Petra Haden and Bill Frisell
Fix You - Coldplay
When I Was Your Man- Bruno Mars
Bless the Broken Road- Rascal Flatts
Hometown Glory- Adele
Your House- Alanis Morissette
Vindicated- Dashboard Confessional
Dancing- Elisa
Push-Matchbox Twenty
This Woman's Work- Maxwell
Slow Dancing in a Burning Room- John Mayer
Half of My Heart- John Mayer
Light Years Away- MoZella
We have all had days like these, believe me. I think your playlist really demonstrates your feelings. I bet even typing the titles of the songs was cathartic for you because it reminded you of how those songs make you feel. I hope tomorrow is better for you!! It's Friday! ;-)
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