Reflecting on this semester

 Writing has become to mean more to me than it has at anytime in my life/ career. And here I find myself with one of my last assignments...writing a reflection about writing that reflected my thoughts at the time. Woah.

This semester was a challenge to say the least. Finding time to eat and sleep was hard enough, let alone doing work for grad school. When I found out that I would have to do extra writing outside of class, I will be honest, I was less than pleased. At first, I thought it was because I didn't have time to write and this would take me away from doing work for other classes or for my job. Looking back, I wasn't happy about it because I was scared.

I was scared to put myself out there! Scared to take a risk! Scared to be judged by my peers (and professor)! I thought that what I had to say would be rendered meaningless to others. I've always been somewhat gutsy and I told myself that if I was going to "do this," I had to "really do it." So I took a chance... and my peers and professors liked what I had to say! That feeling, of having a comment on my blog or having a classmate tell me they enjoyed my piece really meant a lot to me.

Then it hit me... why don't I do more "sharing" with my students? I started sharing my writing, and as a result, they wanted to share theirs. I let go of needing the work to be perfectly punctuated and grammatically correct, because really, writing isn't perfect.

Dudley-Marling and Paugh stated, "Teachers who do not write themselves may have difficulty appreciating the struggles of novice writers. They may be more likely to insist on a writing process for all students, such as demanding that all writing be revised... It will always be difficult for anyone who does not write to be an effective teacher of writing." (Dudley-Marling & Paugh, 11)

Wow. Rereading this tonight once again hit me like a ton of bricks! I must write more to be more effective... it is a causal relationship.

Writing was never "my thing" and truthfully, I would rather curl up with a good book than write. However, if it will make me a better teacher, then you better believe I will write!!!

My New Year's Resolution this year was to try and read for leisure as often as possible. Thus far, I have done that and couldn't be happier. I want to make an "End of the Semester/Grad School Resolution(s):" 

1)Write more!!!

2) Give my kids CHOICE (even if it isn't allowed!)

3) Let them do an essay and don't correct them for spelling and grammar...look at their ideas

4) share, Share, SHARE... let the students read their pieces

Truth Is...

I always hear about kids posting this and finally decided to confront them and ask them what it meant. Apparently, if someone likes your post that says "Truth is" you have to post something truthful about them on their Facebook wall/ Twitter feed/Instagram.

Sounds sweet and innocent yet mature and conniving all at the same time!

I have decided to do this "Truth is" for myself; so hear it goes!

"Truth is"

I'm nervous for my observation tomorrow.

I'm nervous for my observation Friday.

I just want to put all of my work to the side and read one of my new books.

I'm afraid of not getting everything done for work tomorrow.

I'm afraid of not getting everything done for grad school this semester.

I'm afraid of not getting everything done that I want to do in life.

I'm sad that school is coming to an end.

I'm happy that school is coming to an end.

I love my kids and fear that next year's class won't be as "good."

I want to be a role model and confidant for my kids.

I'm afraid I won't find the one.

I have insomnia and sleep 4 hours a night.

My life is crazy.

My life is beautiful.

My life is wonderful.

A Year In Review

I can’t believe this school year is coming to and end. It seems like just yesterday I found myself appearing in the room for the first time, looking at everyone else’s faces and finding my place in the class.

But that was months ago. Eight months ago to be exact. And now, it is all coming to an end. Yes, I still have two months left with the class, but I can’t help but feel nervousness as to what next year’s class will be like.

The teacher was amazing. Talk about being loved by your students and idolized! I remember the first day of school. She walked in, dressed to the nines in J. Crew with the perfect smile to compliment her outfit, tanned skin and not a hair-out-of-place do. They all immediately felt connected to her; the boys, and the girls.

She greeted them with an inviting voice; one that was both stern and warm, serious yet casual. I can’t explain it, but she had it. The day went smoothly, and when the kids left, Mikey, a student who was depressed the previous year according to my friend said, “I think this is going to be a good year,” which says a lot for him. His gapped-tooth smile and fidgety nature warm her heart.

The other students have been darling…but not everyday. The teacher struggled on certain days as expressed on her face, in her body language, or in her tone of voice. Some days she looked defeated. Some days. Maybe a handful to be exact. Most days, she looked thrilled. As have the children.

There is something to be said about a relationship between a teacher and her student. Each one of her relationships is different. Take Ava for example. The new girl was shy at first but now, the teacher can’t get her to be quiet! She tells the teacher everyday, “You’re my favorite teacher ever. I miss you when I’m not around you.” The teacher wants to tell her “You’re my ‘favorite’ student. I miss you when I’m not around you.”

Then there’s John; a true boys-boy who communicates his respect for her with a simple head nod and toothless smile. She reciprocates the respect…something he finds funny!

William follows suit. He does however get her corny jokes quicker than anyone in the class and they usually share a laugh before the others know what’s going on. They silently laugh and relish in that moment of hilarity.

Jimmy is another story. Always two steps behind (or more) he always apologizes for the need for repeated directions, and the teacher always obliges. I can tell she is frustrated, but he can’t and thanks her constantly.

She and Q have the intellectual conversations. Discussing current events and world issues, they go toe-to-toe without crossing the line. He can do a mean jazz and shimmy too which cracks her up during snack.

Luke, another new student, is her rock. She looks at him with her big brown eyes and smiles with them; thanking him for being a model student. He looks back at her wondering how he got placed with this crew!

Dan, a boy that knows wayyy more than he should at age 12, constantly tries to get her attention! He talks with her during snacks, makes music and movie suggestions, and even asks her if they can be friends on Instagram (which of course she turned down.) Dan has a bit of a crush according to the talk on the playground…on the teacher and two of the three girls in the class.

That brings me to Jamie; the tomboy that the teacher admires for being so comfortable in her own skin. Most of the time, Jamie can be found attached to the teacher’s hip. Literally. She always wants to hug her and be near her. The teacher, who always requests a personal bubble, allows her to hold on for a few seconds feeling the admiration.

Then there’s Anne; the perfect student, athlete, and person. Every girl and boy want to be her friend. I can tell that the teacher sees herself in Anne; as if she is looking back to her middle school days. Although Anne is constantly doodling, and the teacher is constantly asking her (nicely) to stop, Anne doesn’t… because Anne is making a book for the teacher; a goodbye present since she is leaving the school.

Even though there is less than two months left of the year, this has been the best yet.

For the students.

For the teacher.

And for me…

a fly on the wall.